Officials Rule Karzai Off Fashion Runway

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Sunday, 25 October 2009

image for Officials Rule Karzai Off Fashion Runway
Where's the hat?

As though the voter recount in Afghanistan isn't humiliating enough, the impeding runoff between President Karzai and Abdullah Abdullah might actually bounce Karzai from office, as well as the fashion runway. Bad news for this fashion icon.

Always believed to be the the best dressed world leader: flowing purple capes with embroidered trim, layered over tunics and loose trousers, hats made of sheared Persian lamb, a Moses-type walking stick, the guy always had pizazz.

At a recent U.N. conference, Hillary Clinton took one look at his ensemble and quickly snipped off her trousers at the thigh of her #39 green pants suit, revealing a pair of real show stoppers. Like Betty Grable legs, (rumored to have been insured for $3 million) Hillary has a great pair of gams.

Who'd thought?

Needless to say, Karzai took a back seat that day even though Hillary's flat black Reeboks left a lot to be desired.

Karzai was ordered by the White House to have a runoff or else. The 'or else' meant no more U.S. troops. Karzai donned his black cape, black tunic, black loose trousers, black Persian lamb hat, black Moses walking stick, black shoes, black handkerchief, white gardenia and reluctantly said something like, "yeah, okay."

The fashion world was stunned. Dolce & Gabbana lowered their shades. Oscar De La Renta retired his castanes. Ralph Lauren snapped off his spurs, and Donna Karen refused telephone calls. Who could step into Karzai's gray patent leather spats with black buttons and replace him on the international stage of power fashion?

Omar Kadafy was out. He could barely control the mud slide he wore during his U.N. speech. Gordon Brown and his Savile Row tailoring was so last century. Nicolas Sarkozy's wife is the fashion plate of that family. Could Abdulla Abdulla, fill the fashion vacuum?

The shades at Dolce & Gabana slowly raised. Oscar De La Renta picked up his castanets. Ralph Lauren snapped on his spurs, and Donna Karen resumed taking calls.

"Not so fast, gang. I've got the legs, over a hundred pant suits, scissors and a pair of brand new black patent leather stiletto heels."

Well, ole!

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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