Israel sets holocaust denier free

Written by Alexandria177

Saturday, 24 October 2009

image for Israel sets holocaust denier free
Room where Himmler was "interviewed".

Tel Aviv, Israel - Dr. Johann Himmler was released from prison today, after a harrowing three week ordeal in which he faced up to ten years in prison for holocaust denial.

It started last month when he was scheduled to fly to Tehran to promote his book, "Holohoax! The Big Lie of Our Time". A reviewer quoted in the jacket cover described it as, "an eye opening revelation that proves again that while figures don't lie, liars do figure."

Given that, the Israeli Air Force was dispatched to down the plane he was on by "all available means". When it landed in Tel Aviv, Dr. Himmler was removed, and the plane allowed to continue on.

Himmler was then taken to one of the few dozen underground "interview" rooms, and - let us say - rigorously questioned. His right of having lawyers there was not denied, they just weren't his lawyers. Through it all, he claimed to have no animosity towards the Jewish people.

As it happens, he was right. After a few weeks of waterboarding, electrocution of testicles, stress positions and the much dreaded "etc.", one of the Mossad agents actually opened the book out of curiosity. It turned out that the book was about the holocaust that took place in the Congo in the late 19th century, under the direction of King Leopold of Belgium.

It was the author's contention that of the 10 million who died, several million may have been victims of a plague, rather then any specifically genocidal intent of the Belgians. He further claimed that the King was out of the loop, and being misinformed by European business interests who were in need of cheap rubber.

"Boy, did we feel stupid!", said Agent Goldstein, grinning ruefully. "Here we thought that he was committing some kind of heinous crime, when all the poor guy was doing was writing about some black goyim! Naturally, we let him go."

By "let him go", the agent means that Himmler was wheeled out and flown back to an American hospital, where doctors are confident that with the proper physical therapy regimen, he could be able to walk again in two or three years.

Meanwhile, Dr. Himmler is wondering whether to continue to work on his next book, "Hitler: A genius ahead of his time", in which he describes how Professor Marvin Hitler of Arkansas discovered the process of pasteurizaton thirty years before Louis Pasteur did.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more