UK leading supermarket chain, ASDA, has announced that in an effort to embrace a multicultural Britain, It will be re-labelling all its home brand foods in Yiddish.
Customers will be encouraged to learn the translations in order to make the wealthy Jewish minority feel more at home.
Beans will become fasolie: bread-broyt, fish-fishn. Toilet paper becomes klozet papir,
and milk-milkh.
The similarity between nouns in both English and Yiddish is hoped to help the transition from our beloved mother tongue, to some foreign lingo.
Customers at the Horwich branch in Lancashire were less than enthusiastic about the furriner embracing directive. One elderly customer was actually seen pulling hundreds of packets of firelighters off a shelf, and was only prevented from burning the building to the ground by the quick thinking of a junior employee, who drenched the old gentleman in corrosive fire suppressing powder before repeatedly kicking him in the head until he lost consciousness.
Customer relations 'helper', Janet Von Trapp, refused to comment about the incident, but assured the justifiably reluctant customers that, 'You will either like it or f***ing lump it. I am here a breyte deye hob'n. (To do all the talking.) a lung un leber oyf der noz,' (Don't imagine a lung and a liver upon the nose.)
Pardon? antshuldikn?
