London - (Tremors): The nuclear proliferation industry's evil twins are bang on target for a seismic catastrophe.
Seismologists at the UN's International Parasitology Division are linking rumblings beneath the Buckingham Palace swimming pool and Iran's Qom bomb factory.
The sites lie on strategic ley line buffers responsible for holding together fragile cold war pacts.
These defend experimentation with a retro-engineered alien earthquake machine discovered during the Blitz under Stonehenge's Salisbury Plain.
"Think Hardon Collider with ermine!" a House of Lords source commented.
The last time Peter Mandelson visited Tehran he was asked to shower with President Ahmadinejad in what the Foreign Orifice termed a ritual whitewash occasion with knobs on.
Baroness Scotland is daft as a brush.
