Iran in new allegations of "terrifying plots"

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Saturday, 26 September 2009


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Rhum Ba Bas could seriously damage your health !

Sources within the major intelligence services of the world, including the UK and France, have today stated that Iran may be building a secret Rhum Ba Ba enrichment plant that could soon be operational; according to a senior aide to the country's Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei the plant is making Baklava and specialist desserts for the Iranian tourist market and has nothing to do with weapons as certain imperialist pigs may have indicated, "It is a plant for our top selling fast food exporter Tehran Fried Crickets, whose founder Aytaollah Saunders coined the phrase It's Finger Chopppin' Good."

A Satellite image of the secret base near Cum, which is one of the holiest Shiite sites is believed to show massive vats of Uranium and death-dealing radioactive power, Ali Khameni claims that these merely hold Honey and Nuts and some of the Ayatollah's secret herbs and spices.

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has insisted the factory hidden deep in a mountain near Cum is open to UN dessert inspectors, especially if they fancy a tasty treat, he suggested they bring bibs and a pot of coffee.

But US President Barack Obama, in a shocking outburst reminiscent of his predecessor George "two brain cells" Bush has made it clear that Iran's continued defiance in the manufacture of dangerous desserts "could lead to confrontation; we don't care if it's nuclear weapons or honey and nut treats, this sort of deception won't be tolerated".

Spineless Waste of Skin and British Prime Minister Gordon Brown accused Tehran of lying to the world for years, especially about the secret blend of herbs and spices in their much admired Hubbly Bubbly Tobacco "Mullah's Favourite" - and said it could face crippling sanctions on banks and energy production, if they didn't cough up and reveal just how they made their tasty desserts.

It came as Mr Obama, Mr Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy stood shoulder-to-shoulder, well would have done if one wasn't a sex mad midget, one a hunch-backed wall-eyed freak and the other was Obama at the G20 summit to warn Iran that enough was enough.

Spy chiefs believe Iran's secret factory includes a chamber big enough to hold 3,000 almonds - used in Rhum Ba-Ba enrichment.

Just in case they needed an excuse for posturing, war-mongering and general curmudgeonly behaviour they also fear that Mr Ahmadinejad could create a nuclear bomb within a year.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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