President Carter Says 'January White Sales are Racist!'

Funny story written by Morse

Thursday, 17 September 2009

image for President Carter Says 'January White Sales are Racist!'
The Jimmy Carter Legacy: Plenty of Smears to Go Around!

Peanut Brittle, GA/ More News from The Nut - Former President 'Jimmie' Carter continued his crusade against Racism today when he came out strongly against Retail Economic Recovery, saying traditional 'January White Sales ' only encourage underlying racial prejudice!'

According to the Retail Trade Association (RTA), January is the month that retailers hold huge sales on household 'white goods' to include towels, pillow cases, and oh, my God....bed sheets!

Carter's new crusade follows his calling out of SC Senator Joe Wilson because the Senator pointed out the current President, Barack 'Pinnochio' Obama was less than truthful in describing his "government get sick and die alone' health care bill.

The Peanut Nutter's home building ventures are temporarily stalled due to massive law suits in Florida concerning tract houses slowly sinking into swamp land that was not properly compacted, and harassed with hordes of termite law suits for bowing to PETA and not using pressure treated wood.

His globe trotting days also appear to be over as it has been reported that the Mossad has a contract on the anti Semitic former Peanut Farmer who dragged his feet on the Iranian Hostage Situation because he found out that 42% of the US diplomatic hostages were of the Jewish faith and he didn't want to 'embarrass' the Iranians, or any of their allies.

According to Carter, "You can't offer discount sheets...especially in the South as long as there is an African American in the White House! This is blatantly a Racist act and will only encourage those with a limited education to continue to disparage our President, a 'black boy' who made good, by allowing them a discount on their uniforms!"

Under the governorship of Carter, Georgia libraries and school systems banned 'Snow White'. Additional proclamations banned Snow on Christmas, 'White Lightning,' 'white outs', 'white pages', 'Whitey Herzog', 'Whitey Lockman' and 'Joe White', both the White Christian Preacher, and the black cornerback for the Peanut Brittle HS Football team, known as the 'nut crackers'.

A Carter spokesman said the former President was unavailable for comment or clarification on his accusations as he was busy researching his next unannounced speech in his Presidential Library located in nearby Chunky, GA.

The spokesman denied reports that the nutty ex president has now ordered that his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches be served on 'dark toasted' white bread in order to be 'completely politically correct!'

Meanwhile, Attorney General Eric Holder says the investigation of Carter and his trans shipment of 53 tons of Peanuts, an ingredient for dynamite, to Hamas as a gesture of 'good will', has been tabled for the time being since the current President 'has a soft spot for the Palestinian freedom fighters."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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