VATICAN CITY (ABSNN) - Pope Benedict has joined with other world leaders in enthusiastically approving that the Roman Catholic Church celebrate a Feast Day during the upcoming Breast Appreciation Day on September 28, 2009.
Speaking through His Confessor, Monsignor Francois Dubois, S.J., the Holy Father told Vatican reporters, "Boobies are beauties, just look at mine!" Monsignor Dubois held up a life sized photograph of Pope Benedict san bra.
The Benedictine order of nuns has issued orders that all Sisters go topless on Breast Appreciation Day, with the exception of novices who have not yet taken vows of chastity.
"I've been waiting to get a man's opinion on my honey-dew melons for 22 years," said Mother Mary Catherine, Director of Vocations for the Wyoming Diocese. "Never thought I'd get the chance to do it legally."
Monsignor Dubois said the Vatican is excited to be holding topless masses throughout the Catholic world. Of the one-billion adherents to the Roman Catholic Church, nearly 250 million are women in the age a majority.
"This will get the heat off of the altar boys, at least for a while," said Monsignor Dubois.