White House Admits: Breast Appreciation Day Biggest Stimulus to Economy!

Funny story written by Morse

Tuesday, 8 September 2009

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for White House Admits: Breast Appreciation Day Biggest Stimulus to Economy!
Boob in Washington Replaced by Public Acclamation during Breast Appreciation Day!

Washington, DC,/ State of the Economy Emergency Press Conference - An astonished Robert Gibbs, the Administration's Speak at You appointee, was forced to admit under intense questioning by Fox News' Pit Bull,Major Garrett, that "Breast Appreciation Day" had done more for the faltering economy that any of the fuzzy, ill conceived, ill run, and debt inducing plans put forth by so called hand picked "experts" appointed by the President."

He was replaced as White House Spokesman by Chris Matthews shortly after the startling announcement.

"Boob Day", as it has been dubbed by the Press, is the brain child of independent thinker Hal A. Peno, who felt it was high time an oppressed population took things in it's own hands and displayed the entrepreneurial spirit that once made this nation great.

"The middle class, the self employed, and the small business owner know what it takes to get this economy running again," he said from his home office in New Mexico. "Ill thought out government programs, additional taxes, and handouts to the illegal aliens and those who don't want to work, will never turn this country around!"

Peno said he came up with the idea after becoming addicted to The Spoof.com, a web site made up of free thinkers, and economic and sociology experts with a vast following amongst the 'silent majority'

"We talk a lot about mammary glands on the site, and I felt that, geez, here we have the basic tenants for existence....it all starts with our Mother's Milk...and now it's time to get back to basics and stop expecting to feed off the government teat till we die!"

Economic indicators since "Boob Day" was announced have gone off the charts.

Plastic Surgeons said they can't keep up with demand for breast augmentation, which has led to a shortage of silicone produced by "WoW Chemical' causing prices to skyrocket.

Unemployment has dropped by 7%, except for Detroit, as men go back to work to earn money for a Boob Job for their loved ones.

Women's apparel sales are now up, especially in sleep wear and under garments, and makeup counters at all major department stores say they are totally out of 'nipple rouge'.

Needless to say strapless bra sales are off the charts, and even Fitness Gyms close to going out of business with the Government Induced Failed Economy had a surge in enrollments from women who say "it's time to tighten up".

Women everywhere are sporting yellow stickers stating proudly, "I love my tits", which is echoed by other stickers worn by their companions saying "Me Too!"

As one excited town hall meeting attendant gushed to Glen Beck, "Finally we can stop listening to those Boobs in Washington....we've got our pride back, and we can put our future back in our own hands...."TITS R US!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more