Monday, 7 September 2009

People checking out their calendars might notice that Monday, September 28th, has been named as National Breast Awareness Day. The event is not tied to breast cancer, but to the appreciation of that part of the female anatomy.

Research shows that the holiday was created by United States President George W. Bush. He signed it into law before he left office. Thirty-seven other free world countries have followed suit and will also mark the occasion.

Madaline Coriander of the National Organization of Women said that "this is a sexist event. How dare they pick out a day where breast are supposed to be oogled! A man obviously thought of this, and a sexist one at that."

Richard Stong of Platex, however, felt differently. "In my company, we support breasts. We think that the idea can be uplifting. Frankly, the idea of making this a yearly event has got us hooked!"

When the giant chicken restaurant chains announced their participation in National Breast Appreciation Day, they obviously did not think of the implications. Kentucky Fried Chicken, Popeye's, and Church's decided to dedicate a day to honoring the female employees of their eateries, not to the most popular cut of chicken on their menu. Market research, however, is showing that sales may be up.

This reporter will announce more activities as they are made known.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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