Alcohol Banned at U.S. Embassy in Kabul

Funny story written by Carlton Marshall

Monday, 7 September 2009

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"The U.S. Embassy in Afghanistan has banned alcohol and assigned American personnel to watch over the embassy's security guards following allegations of lewd behavior and sexual misconduct at their living quarters." CBS news reported today.

An unidentified ambassador responded to the apparent role juxtaposition saying "As ambassadors we promote harmonious relations between the United States and Afghanistan and curtailing this behavior is completely appropriate responsibility for an ambassador." The ambassador added "Prior to these restrictions we were assigned to merely hold their hair back when they barf."

"In at least one case, supervisors brought prostitutes into the quarters where the guards live, a serious breach of security and discipline, the group said this week. In other instances, members of the guard force drew Afghans into activities forbidden by Muslims, such as drinking alcoholic beverages..." CBS also reported.

One of the Afghan's commented "We're too young to buy alcohol so we had to rely on the guards to supply us."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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