CIA Lied - Congress to Compensate Injured Parties

Funny story written by Zabdgrov667

Friday, 10 July 2009

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(WASHINGTON D.C.) - Director of the CIA, Leon Panetta has confessed that the CIA has lied, and routinely lies, to Congress. While Nancy Pelosi has received the most attention as a victim of the agency's vicious nature, other international figures have been cruelly injured by the CIA's deplorable behavior. At the top of the list are: Saddam Hussein, Josef Stalin, Adolf Hitler, Che Guevara and regime members of the Khmer Rouge. Nancy Pelosi remarked, "I was lucky, but these men paid with their lives."

Presently, Congress has approved 25 foot tall statues of the men named above, to be placed "standing on the waters" of the National Mall in Washington, D.C., each with tributes explaining how Marxism and the "selective resettlement of Jews in progressively oriented government facilities" were legitimate alternatives to the US Constitution, and deserving of equal respect.

Attorney General Eric Holder commented, "it is likely that hundreds of millions have been hurt by the irresponsibility of this agency, and it is our duty to provide them with justice and closure." The US Secretary of State has released photographs and probable locations of CIA employees and operatives to countries around the world, asking for "whistle-blowers" to step forward and identify anyone that has abused their positions representing the US government.

So far no agents of the CIA have been accused of wrong-doing, but several US embassies have reported bodies placed at their gates, some burned beyond recognition, others beheaded, a few with bones crushed into small shards, but most with US passports or related US documents.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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