Baitullah Mehsud, the Taliban leader, reported to have been killed by a US missile, is not dead.
Mehsud is indeed well and alive and in Paris.
Assistants at the Thierry Muggins haute couture maison in the French capital confirmed to our reporter that the Taliban chief was in their store 24 hours ago being fitted out with a burkha.
He showed the assistants a First Class air ticket to Ougadougou (capital of the African state of Burkina Faso) where he will undergo a sex-change operation.
As soon as he has recovered he will settle in Monte Carlo where he - or rather she - will open a brothel.