Beards Banned In Boston and Baby-Faces Banned By Taliban.

Funny story written by rfreed

Sunday, 7 June 2009

image for Beards Banned In Boston and Baby-Faces Banned By Taliban.
One Must Wonder About People Who Are A Little Too Clean Shaven.

At one time in Boston back in the day when Puritan ethics had not yet totally evaporated from the social consciousness, it was considered immoral to have a beard or any facial hair (one wonders how such Biblical heroes such as Moses, Jeremiah or even Jesus would have fared in Boston society with their famously bearded faces). A jail cell awaited those who wouldn't comply.

One man, having a skin sensitivity that prevented shaving, grew a beard out of necessity and found himself thrown in the slammer. It became a big legal issue and another man purposely sprouted a beard to support the first and was thrown in with him. Finally legal minds battled it out and the beards won.

Now, in another time and place far, far away we have the Taliban in the Middle East who have made it punishable by death NOT to have a beard. Only the women and children are exempt from this, except the bearded lady in the Afghan State Circus who they made shave. Barbers were murdered for shaving men (True!). Male modeling agencies across Afghanistan were forced to close and the Afghani version of CQ Magazine had to close up shop.

In a fantasy world wouldn't it be grand to have these two repressive pseudo-religious forces battle it out for the Number One spot of 'World's Most Screwed Moral Thinking'? They wouldn't even need uniforms to distinguish themselves, it would simply be the bearded fruitcakey ones against the bald-faced infidels.

We could set them up somewhere all to themselves like Antarctica with some food supplies, loin clothes and clubs. They could slaughter each other to their hearts content and the few survivors could be put in zoos with other animals. The world would be a better place- a truly win-win situation for all involved! Of course, their absence would probably create a vacuum that would be filled by another set of religious nutjobs who are only slightly more evolved than those they replace.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more