Moderate Taliban Invade Pakistan

Funny story written by Adam Click

Thursday, 7 May 2009

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The Taliban says more than 30 resorts are fully booked through July.

Islamabad,Pakistan - Moderate Taliban forces continued their unopposed invasion of northern Pakistan in search of travel and shopping bargains. Armed with credit cards, AK-47 assault rifles and grenade launchers, they've been scooping up treasures left and right.

Bargain hunters are carrying away arms full of loot that Pakistani shop keepers seem almost relieved to get rid of.

Choice property is also to be had at bargain prices. Whole valleys have been swept up for pice on the rupee. Hotel and resort owners report being overrun by bargain hunting Taliban.

Folks such as Afghani Issa Watandar couldn't believe the incredible bargains to be had just across the border from their native Afghanistan. "I just got a whole village...for next to nothing! They're practically giving them away. At home such a village would have taken days and many lives to get."

The Pakistani government has been encouraging the bargain hunters. In February, Pakistani president, Asif Ali Zardari agreed to the introduction of Islamic sharia law in Swat, a popular Taliban tourist destination.

The government has also removed sales taxes from several districts resulting in heavy discounts. According to the government more than 60 discount coupons for various attractions are available. The Taliban says more than 30 resorts are fully booked through July.

Yesterday, the Pakistani president met with US president, Barrack Obama, and the Afghan president, Hamid Karzai, in Washington. Both Zardari and Karzai "fully appreciate the boost to their economies generated by moderate Taliban bargain hunters. They continue to find new ways to attract them to their villages and towns." Obama said later.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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