German man, Hans Oop was yesterday reunited with his penis after a 20 year separation. Oop, of Wank, southern Germany was said to be delighted by the reunion.
It appears that following a particularly acrimonious divorce, Oop, of Wank forgot all about his penis due to stress and heavy drinking. Oop, of Wank, neglected his penis for years, despite come-ons from state sanctioned prostitutes, the establishment of the world wide web, and the burgeoning European sex industry.
Oop, of Wank, is said by colleagues to have totally immersed himself in his job as a fudge-packer with the Bendt Chocolate Company AG, and got so immersed in his work that he totally forgot he had a penis.
Speaking through an interpreter, Jarbo The Killer from Stretford, Manchester, Oop, from Wank, in Germany, whose English is a breakfast, told us:
"I don't know what happened. I woke up this morning, and there it was! It was very emotional. It all came flooding back to me...my penis...the purpose of my penis...I cried. Then I spanked the fuck out of the cheeky monkey until he cried too. I had to apply a tissue, the tears were so profuse. It was very emotional. Tonight I go to as many brothels as I can find! I'm fucking mad for it!"
More as we get it.