Chicago, Illinois/ Jungle Drum News - Zimbabwe President by Popular Force, Robert Mugabe, spoke to an enthusiastic mob of Mau Mau Warriors in Chicago, Illinois, today, urging them to step up and take back their city, their land, their culture, and their turf.
"Chicago doesn't need to be led by Community Organizers," Mugabe said," Chicago needs honest community leaders, not politicians using your city as a stepping stone to national office.!!"
Mugabe continued, " I have the blood of a Chicago American in me, I understand your pain and your concern for the future. This tyranny, corruption, and the killing of your young black men must end for all time!"
(An aide to the President said he was referring to a University of Chicago white missionary Student he once had for lunch...at least part of him)
ACORN volunteers have indicated that they expect to garner enough signatures on petitions to enable Mugable to run for the Senate next year to replace lame dick Blago Appointee, Roland Burris, who couldn't squeeze any financial juice from gun shy labor hacks or jaded dem trust fund yuppies.
The major problem was that Obama had gathered all the hacks up and brought them to Washington with him, and appointed them to a plethora of Czar/Czarina positions answering only to himself, leaving a temporary void of Assholes in The Windy City.
Meanwhile, the nation's press missed most of the Chicago melodrama where Mugabe promised to put an abrupt halt to the continued violence amongst the city's young black people, which threatened to wipe out a generation if it wasn't halted. An abomination that all the local politicians had avoided for the past 50 years of Democratic Party Rule.
On the other hand, the liberal media was in a frenzy as President Obama, his wife, his children, and his Mother in Law plus 24 Czars were busy in Africa lecturing the natives on learning how to be "less black", take advantage of Affirmative Action, and never forget your family, no matter which cardboard box they were taking shelter in.
Obama waved to his brother George as the motorcade swept down a dusty highway in Kenya, passing the corrugated tin hut George was hanging out in while waiting for his green card, a duplex in Roxbury, Massachusetts paid for by Governor Deval Patrick, and the nice taxpayers from the state.
"I do belive Change be Comin'" George said patiently, " and I goin' be gettin' some of mine, soon!"