A new Postman delivered a shocking letter to the Pope this morning. Barry Obama has been in the job for only a couple of months. This morning was the first time he had any mail for the Holy Father.
The letter is thought to come from Ted K, the last of the legendary K's. The letter is thought to contain one of the most groveling confessions of all time. Ted is seeking forgiveness in order to avoid the fires of hell. Obama has never carried a letter as lengthy as this before. "It's a huge letter, goes on for miles. It's gonna take quite a while for the Holy Father to get through it."
The Pope is alleged to have responded by saying "What does he want, a fucking miracle?" before returning to his game of Cludo with Desmond Tutu, The Dalai Lama and Cher.