The Nobel Institute has today announced that President Barracks Obama has been nominated to receive the 2009 Peace Prize for Best Patronising Speech in Africa.
Mr Obama secured the nomination for his keynote speech on arrival in Ghana when he promised to drag that country by its bootstraps to something like American standards.
Ghanaian leader, John Atta Mills, was observed visibly to cringe as Mr Obama condescendingly praised local democracy and "minimal" corruption.
Sir "Saint" Bob Geldof called a press conference immediately on hearing of the Nobel Prize nomination.
"I have tirelessly worked for the African continent since I discovered there was publicity in it. Band Aid, Live Aid - all mine! And now this johnny-come-lately expletive deleted expletive deleted expletive deleted is going to snatch my prize! No expletive deleted way!"
Sir Bob went on to remark that if that twat Phil Collins thought he had any chance he was well expletive deleted!
Freddy Mercury was not available for comment.
