London: A scientific group of scientists have met for three days and all have come to the same conclusion, "The earth as we know it and still being recognizable has had a fork stuck in it's ass and been turned over...twice.
The recent wildfires, super-hurricanes, tsunamis, floods, a woman having eight babies, earthquakes and other disasters have taken it's toll.
"There's just too much abuse day by day", stated Dr. Strangelove. "You add in global warming, oil digging everywhere, greenhouse gases and Arnold Schwarzenegger farts and the planet has had the weenie."
Others warned that they expected to see further damage that will produce crop failures, massive hemorrhoid outbreaks and more & more movies with little critters scurrying about, making jokes.
"This planet can stand one shock but it can no longer take all this together."
"Is there anything that might help?", asked one reporter.
"Just keep Rush Limbaugh and Kirsty Alley apart or the magnetic field will send us reeling into oblivion."
