Oil Companies Abolish Countries - Set Up Own Dictatorships

Funny story written by rfreed

Monday, 9 February 2009

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The Planet Earth - Now To Be Known As 'Oiltopia'

Oil companies today in a bold and unexpected move gave up trying to hide just how much power and influence they truly had and abolished the countries where their oil wells were. Within a matter of hours they set up new totalitarian principalities that answered only to their demands.

Norway is now Shell North, Saudi Arabia, Iran and Iraq have been combined under the banner of Exxonistan, Nigeria is called Gulfia, Venezuela and Mexico are ConocoPhillipico, Algeria and Libya are Shelleria and Alaska has been severed from the rest of the US and renamed BP land.

The only countries not dissolved by these massive takeovers are Russia and China. Russia, commandeered by Putin who had already taken over control of the Soviet private oil company by nationalizing it, is virtually the same horse with a different color. China, being obstinate as ever, didn't "get" what was going on and being so immense didn't really care.

Effects on the populaces of each country has been devastating. The oil companies immediately stopped all governmental services not related to the oil industry and their products. Schools were shut down, universities suspended except for engineering classes, police departments were disbanded, armies let go except for a few troops to protect oil fields and properties. All border controls were dismantled.

As can be imagined, chaos ensued. Riots and looting swept the former countries. Oil companies and their top employees were safe within gated communities and regarded the mayhem as entertainment.

New laws were written up where all women, married or not, young or old, were to be considered whores for the executives and to submit to them upon demand. All men had to swear allegiance to one company or another and were branded on their foreheads with that companies logos. All alternative, non-gas using means of transportation were banned, with gliders, bicycles, skateboards, hang-gliders, canoes and other such things being thrown on huge bonfires in communities throughout the world. All children were taken from their parents and assigned oil fields or automotive factories to work at for the glory of the oil titans. The sign 'Work Will Make You Free' was erected over every work site entrance.

Meanwhile, unbeknown to them, rebels were assembling in underground hideouts throughout the world and joined together in a pledge to fight the oil companies. They possessed the one commodity the oil men did not control- the atomic industry. Creating power and reviving shut down nuclear facilities was the first priority they secretly attended to. But never far from their minds was the thought that there were bombs around that also did not rely on oil for fuel, and there in lay perhaps the only possibility of hope for mankind.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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