Scientists have proved money does in fact make the world go round - in particular the dollar.
The gravitational pull of the greenback and the dollar's spread around the world is keeping the globe turning.
"Without the dollar spreading across world, the planet Earth would be turning a three per cent slower than today," said Professor Emeritus Sphincter, of the University of Oslo's Crunchen Kan du kjøpe Creditsmogen department.
"So important is the effect of the dollar's gravitational twisting, the current slowdown in the global economy could slow down the planet."
Furthermore gravity hot spots have been noted at places where large numbers of dollars are kept - such as banks and Russia.
In fact US authorities are now aiming to use the discovery to uncover terrorists and money launderers.
"Our special gravimeters can spot secret stashes of Al Jazeera cash from space," said Eric N'Earnie, FBI cash cop.
"Old Osama Obama will have no place to hide his dollars now."
