English Gets Its Millionth Word

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Wednesday, 10 June 2009


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#1,000,001? Vagiphalloreflux - the nausea one feels when another largest penis/vagina article is published.

NEW YORK CITY, NY - The English language contains more words than any other on the planet, and it added its millionth early Wednesday morning, according to the Global Language Monitor, a web site that uses a mathematical formula to predict the frequency of word additions.

A spokesman for the site explains that the English language has become so large because it "swallows" new words, sometimes incorporating foreign terms, words invented to describe new technology, or cultural phenomena.

Some linguists disagree with the count. "I don't care what they say. Web 2.0 isn't a word," says Dorothy Verbosa. "It's a noun phrase, and 2.0 is a modifier. If you recognize Web 2.0 as a word, then so is Web 3.0, Web 4.0 and so on. Where does the madness stop?"

Nevertheless, the millionth word was added at approximately 5:22 a.m. according to the site.

Surprisingly, the millionth English word is especially appropriate for this honor, as it is a literary term.

Spoof readers and writers at TheSpoof.com owe themselves a hearty congratulations for helping bring into existence the one-millionth English word:

Vagiphallomania - a compulsive need to read articles about the man with the world's largest penis and the woman with the world's largest vagina.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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