British government Education Minister, Mrs Cherie Baybee, today made the surprise claim that British people had no problems with reading and writing.
'Thanks to the Labour goverment', she said, 'all children and adults are not only equal, they are also equally iliterate. As long as you can vagueely recognise what the word is meant to be, then you have a future as a journalist or a writer. Just ask Jeffery Archer.'
For a long time poor and innacurate spelling has been tolerated, especially on the worldwideweb - the so-called interrnet - and the government has no plans to alter such behaviour. 'We have no plans to altar such behavior', Mss Baby said, 'unless it makes people laurgh. Then in the name of socialism and having a good chortle at other people we shall allow such bad spelling, and poor illiteracy.'
But Professor of Literality at Oxford University, Sir Jeremiah Paxpurveston, had this to say about the alleged literacy problems: 'Look, we can't all have public school educations, can we? Thankfully. Otherwise who would we get to run the Labour Party?'
But former Deputy Prime Minister Lord Black of Puddingham said 'Nay, nay, tha knaws, we can't 'ave bad spellingk on t' web, ootherwise it's a punch in the snout for thee, tha daft bastid!'
The English language is 911 this week - alleggedy.
