Cheney Accepts Leadership Position In Taliban

Funny story written by rfreed

Friday, 24 April 2009

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Cheney Has Traded The Red, White And Blue Of The Flag For The Red, White And Black And Blue Of Floggings.

A shocked nation learned today that former Vice President Dick Cheney had joined the Pakistani faction of the Taliban that is trying to take over that nation.

OK, not everyone was shocked, but many could not believe that even Cheney, Mr. Waterboarding himself, would not stoop so low as to join an organization that would kill someone for not having a beard, women included. Looking at the possibilities it offers Mr. Cheney, however, gives one a different viewpoint.

Moving into a leadership position in the Taliban gives Mr. Cheney a position that could take him to the heights of power in potentially rich oil areas. If the Taliban succeeds in dominating Pakistan and Afghanistan, then the domino effect could bring Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Iran and Kuwait under their control. Cheney could again be a prime player in puppet regimes just as he had in the eight years of his Bush performance.

Cheney, who has had to make several adjustments to working with the Taliban such as growing a beard, converting to Islam and having his gay daughter stoned, seems to otherwise be well adjusted to working with their leaders. "They are a group that is expert at repressing individuals, demanding total authoritarian obedience, have no problem with killing and torturing dissidents and believe in controlling as much of the world as possible and making everyone bow to their ways. What is wrong with that?"

One of the greatest difficulties Cheney has faced is getting his wife Lynn to wear a Burkha. The regular floggings are bringing her around though.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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