Catholic Church Pope agrees to 'bank off' Obama, Berlusconi and Blair in atonement for the World Merchant Banking abuse scandal live in Rome, Italy on You-Tube

Funny story written by TheVaticanVoice

Monday, 25 May 2009

image for Catholic Church Pope agrees to 'bank off' Obama, Berlusconi and Blair in atonement for the World Merchant Banking abuse scandal live in Rome, Italy on You-Tube
Putin is not involved in the Vatican Catholic Church Scandal.

Direct interview for the Vatican Voice by Dr. Giorgio Dini and his microphone assistant Roberta Cancedda, The Merchant Bankers of the Insituto Gianniana Gaslini Hosiptal, Genoa, Italy.

The leader of the Roman Catholic Church in Italy has agreed to 'bank off' Obama, Berlusconi and Blair live on You-Tube in atonement for the World banking scandals, the Mafia, and the Roman Catholic Church child prostitution scandal as well as the drug scandals that are all linked back to the Vatican Bank or actually, the Byzantine empire as they paid for them in the first place. Apparently, the Swiss guards are not implicated, just paid to hide the merchant bankers' secrets.

"The Roman Catholic Church cannot exist without people suffering; this is not because we are not of this planet, and not simply because we are all "Phoenicians" from the lower valley of Egypt before we were expelled.' He added, "The training starts at an early age throughout many cultures at theoretical safe houses." The Pope explained "if a young child is brought up in an environment of totally depravity, why should they know that it is wrong or indeed right? That is why we have the system of confession" He continued "We abuse them", and then "they have had to confess to the abuse they have endured at our hands, we torture them as children and then we blame them as adults". He continued "I cannot wait to get my ambitious hands on Obama's, Berlusconi's and Blair's financial tools; I have had so much fun with them already".

The Vatican Merchant Bank Betting Shop has placed odds on Blair demonstrating the highest 'interest' shot first due to his erratic reaction, Berlusconi's limp odds being hindered by recent reconstructive surgery but Obama may shoot unexpectedly with a higher interest rate.

The Pope when asked "How will you cope with just 2 hands and three candidate interest ratings for your bank?" replied "I have hands, feet and other features". The live show is planned for the 8th June 2009 although the Pope's parting shot as he dribbled down his leg due to his age was confusing as he shouted at the departing reporters "if you think Child Prostitution such as happened in Ireland is not part of Vatican business, and then where would we get such a huge Mafia drugs aftermarket, you should visit some of the children's hospitals in Italy. We have been running them as brothels for decades." He added, "Many children's hospitals have been run by the Christian Brothers' for training Vatican priests for hundreds of years in preparation for the Vatican invasion of Northern-Europe, stop wasting your money on going to Thailand".

The World Health Organization has advised 'normal' families to avoid holidays in Italy due to any potential further outbreaks of Vatican Swine-Pervert Fever but if you must go, do not eat or drink anything in case it is drugged or poisoned in preparation for Pervert-Abuse Fever, but especially, "do not take any children with you". The 'Christian Brothers' of the Vatican may be waiting for you.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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