Vatican Shitty - (Blowjob Mess): Ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has offered to go down on Pope Joe Ratzinger to help make the point that gayness is 'all god (sic) clean fun'.
His London orifice has even sent the Ponitff a couple of homegrown holiday video nasties showing the Poodle Brothers frolicking with gay abandon during their 2001 Camp David shagfest.
"What the Pope needs is a change of dogma," Blair's mouthpiece said today.
"If that means five grams of coke, a dirty movie and the holy mother of all fellatios then so be it."
"What the Pope needs is a damned good screw," leading California celeb paper LA FagHagSlagMag concurred.
"Unfortunately buggery is out of the question because His Holiness recently had his arsehole removed and replaced with a colostomy."