Written by Bureau

Friday, 8 May 2009

image for New UFO Papers Released By Brit Government
"Go Away From My Window, Leave At Your Own Chosen Speed"

Britain's defence ministry has just released over 10,000 more declassified UFO files to the general public. The files, released by Britain's National Archives, pertain to incidents from January 1, 1985 to Dec 31st 1995. The time period covers about 2,000,000 unofficial different UFO sightings, 1,999,766 dismissed as weather balloons.

One of the most fascinating cases was immediately closed down and so important that all ministers were alerted. The Ministry of Defence received photographs from eighty-two different members of the public, who witnessed a large cigar-shaped UFO in the sky on April 14, 1991 over a soccer match. The newspaper, The Farmsley Gazzette, got ahold of some photo copies of the photos and wanted an official statement from the Ministry Of Defence, leading ministers to be instructed to state that no definite conclusions were reached on the UFO but it caused everyone in the room's hair to stand straight up!(well, those WITH hair.)

Other reports include a Somali pirate in a crows nest alerting his crew to "Haul ass" and nearly hit a 600-foot long craft, and a woman out walking her dog in London who was approached by a man who told her, "the ghost of electricity howls in the bones of her face" with a Duluth, Minnesota accent and dressed in a pair of pants and shirt.

"He stated that he was from another country, his race was an ancient one who spent 400 years in ancient Egypt and that their visits to England were friendly."

"Then as he left he whispered, "The times they are a-changing" in a sing-song voice and THAT was a threat, I don't care how much the police laughed at me!?"

"You should see how this guy looked!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Parliament

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