The government is due to unveil a giant money funnel today, designed to better demonstrate where large proportions of public money go.
Top secret until now, details of the funnel are still sketchy; however, it is believed to be built of enamel and have a large circular opening which narrows down to a small opening, the end of which is pointed into the Thames.
Pressed for details before the grand unveiling, a government aide would only confirm that the funnel had a large chain to one side, designed to help ease money through.
An unnamed source within Number 10 hinted at the enormity of the scheme: "Naturally the government is a little trepidatious at the prospect of having to flush large amounts of money down in one go - no one wants to cause a blockage. However, in actual fact this is just a way of making official what we have been doing for years. With every new initiative this government has introduced, we have proven ourselves adept at ensuring that all the money disappears - just look at the NHS IT scheme or the Olympics."
It is believed that the first initiative to make use of the facility will be the ID Cards scheme.