President Barack Obama, in consultation with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, has decided that the time has come to disarm the United States Military.
In a press conference at the White House, Obama said that "we have decided that the best way to stop the violence in Mexico with the drug wars is to cease weapons manufacturing and usage in this country. To do this, we will immediately stop all gun and ammunitions manufacturing in this country. We will also stop the development and usage of all weapons systems for military and police use and disarm the military. The Second Amendment in the Bill of Rights is also immediately repealed by Presidential Order."
When told by the representative of FoxNews at the press conference that he did not have the right to repeal an Amendment to the Constitution, Obama had the journalist arrested under the Patriot Act for disagreeing with him. At that point, he also repealed the rights of Free Speech granted in the First Amendment.
According to the President, all military planes (fighter and transport), tanks, ships, submarines, weapons, missile systems, missile defense systems, and property will immediately be shipped to "our good friends and neighbors in the Middle East, North Korea, India, Pakistan, and Venezuela. These underprivileged peoples cannot afford them on their own, but will surely know how to put them to good use."
The other nations will not be required to buy these, but they will be provided as "foreign aid."
To facilitate the transfer, pilots from Jordan, Syria, Iran, Iraq, Yemen, Afghanistan, and Pakistan will fly fully loaded and armed bombers and fighter planes from U.S. bases inside of the United States to their own countries.
Police forces in American cities will no longer be permitted to carry pistols and SWAT teams will no longer be allowed to use sniper rifles. Instead, they will be armed with less than the British Bobbys. "In England, police have successfully used only billyclubs for years. I think that this is still going overboard and that our finest can go with less."
Additionally, Obama ordered that the U.S. Border Patrol also disarm and shut down all search and seizure operations at the U.S. Borders and Checkpoints. "I still believe that give us your tired, your poor, etc. should be the rule of the day. Our rich Republicans have enough to provide for all of the people who want to come here to take advantage of our welfare and education systems."
