The upcoming retirement/resignation of Justice Souter will allow new U.S. President Barack Obama to name his first appointment to the United States Supreme Court. According to confidential sources within the White House, Obama considered the problems with several of his Cabinet selections and established a few criteria before naming his selection.
First, the person could not have been involved in any financial frauds for votes (like original Commerce Secretary choice Bill Richardson).
Second, the person had to be able to prove that they paid their taxes (like all of the rest of his appointees).
Third, Oprah Winfrey had to approve of the pick.
Considering that the first two requirements eliminated most of the career politicians in Washington, Obama was forced to go "outside" for a nominee.
With great fanfare, the White House announced the new selection of Barack Obama to join the Supreme Court: Louis Farrakhan.
In a press conference, Obama said that "The Reverend is just as good a Christian as I am. We both love baby Jesus and the Virgin Mary and he even has a birth certificate!"
When one reporter asked how the Supreme Minister of the Nation of Islam was a Christian, the President ordered him removed and asked security guards "who let an unbiased reporter into one of my briefings?"
Oprah Winfrey approved this message.