According to the Global EPA, the amount of annual gross domestic waste produced by humans reached a nauseating 17,855 tons, with China contributing to two-thirds of said figure.
Due to the general strike of the Chinese Tampon manufacturers women and men have been forced to use a plastic derivative known as "pyan-gong-ping-pong" roughly translated as "spongy- happy hole-expundger.
The consequences of the GEPA's findings has led to a new generation of crackpot ideas on waste disposal. Ex-Russian Premier Boris Yeltsin said: "I tink we should squish all duh rubbish in to a big ball und shoot it to duh Moon" Yeltsin sebsequently fell into a Schnapps induced seizure.
