Obama Sends Blago on World Junket to Market US Treasuries: 23% Return Guaranteed!

Funny story written by Morse

Monday, 23 February 2009

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Dumb Investors Burned Twice, Believe Obama and Get Screwed Again!

Washington,DC/ Investors Business Daily - President Barry Obama, fresh from pledging the nation's financial future in the $3 trillion dollar trashing of America, has now pledged to balance the nation's budget WITHIN the next 4 years!

Taking a page from recent financial manipulators, Bernie Madoff, and Texas Billionaire Allen Stanford, Obama, with the aid of his entire cabinet, and leadership in the Democratic Congress, none of whom could balance a checkbook, have come up with the latest Ponzi scheme, but this time it is backed by the US Government.

US Treasury Bonds and CDs paying 23% per annum, only slightly less then the US is paying on the loan from Venezuela and the new Narco Cartel in Mexico, will be offered and are expected to enable the financially astute President to pay off the huge debt within 4 years!

To facilitate the fleecing of the World, Obama has enlisted the unrepentant, fast talking, and bipolar former Governor of Illinois, who was facing a federal trial on corruption charges.

Sources close to the deal say Blago was granted immunity if he agreed to be the point man for the Treasury Offerings, given 10% off the top based on sales figures, and a full travel allowance and a staff headed by his wife Patty, Realtor of the year, and Queen of the Short Sale.

As an added stimulus, Obama prevailed upon Senate Majority leader Harry Reid into releasing newly appointed Senator Roland Burris from his duties and into the service of the Blago's to serve as their house boy, and occasional chauffeur and bag man.

Blago is said to have promised not to release any incriminating tapes of phone calls between himself, the President, and Eliot Spitzer concerning 22 year old call girls in the famous Chicago Play and Pay game popular with Governors and Community Organizers in the windy city.

To get a jump on sales, Obama has envoys traveling all around the world as opening acts for the irrepressible Blago. Under the guise of State Visits, both Clintons have hit the UAE, North and South Korea, and China.

John Kerry has been taking down payments from Hamas during a visit sponsored by the UN and Pelosi has lobbied the Vatican for money, at the same time inquiring about Saint Hood.

Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick has urged his constituents to take all their forthcoming Stimulus Checks and "Invest in the US", saying the state would take care of incidentals like heath care, food, free housing, and unlimited lotto tickets.

Newly appointed Attorney General Eric Holder laid down a challenge at a recent news conference saying "any white American who doesn't buy these offerings are cowardly racists!" He also announced that members of ACORN'S community action groups would be going door to door in predominately white neighborhoods selling the bonds and he expected full cooperation.

In NY city, Rev. Al Sharpton echoed the AG's message, saying members of his non profit organizations would be approaching all commercial business interests in the city, and had been authorized to take advance payments for the bonds as well. He said subscribers to the issue would be treated well and should not expect any boycotts or picket lines any time soon, or at least until the current financial crisis had played out.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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