No Bailout Money For Republican Districts

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Saturday, 21 February 2009

image for No Bailout Money For Republican Districts
"Get the slide."

Since the Republicans unanimously voted against the bailout package, Republican districts will receive zero dollars from the recovery package signed by President Obama.

Running up and down the steps of Air Force One, in Denver, Colorado, the zero dollars for Republican districts falls under the recently signed, Too Bad, amendment to the Constitution. Republicans are screaming foul and questioning what ever happened to, "There are no red states or blue states, just one United States of America?"

Republicans were told to read the Too Bad amendment to the Constitution. Up and down the steps goes President Obama.

Shovel ready projects, (like roads or bridges) will start in Democratic districts, stop at Republican borders and pick up once Democratic districts begin again. It's no longer just the bridge to nowhere, but also the road to maybe. Voters critical of their pot-hole filled lives can vote Democratic in 2010.

Sort of like a twisted, "having your cake and eating it too," Republicans voted against cake, (the bailout package) but wanted a large slice, Thank you, and seconds too, while insisting the cake was rotten, smelled, looked terrible and promised to cause indigestion for generations to come. "But give us a slice, anyway." Same criticism was voiced after Obama, (once again climbing up and down the steps of Air Force One) signed the mortgage bailout in Mesa, Arizona. Back up the steps for the flight home to Washington.

Using Air Force One on his travels throughout the country and recently to Canada, President Obama decided to install a slide instead of the cumbersome 35 steps down from the third floor plane exit. A sling-shot from the tarmac will travel with the plane and send the President up into Air Force One, where a large leather catcher's mitt will be waiting at the doorway. It is hopeful that the agile President will eventually introduce some mid-air Mary Lou Retton gymnastics during his leap back into Air Force One.

A slide, sling shot and catcher's mitt to get on and off Air Force One? That doesn't sound very Presidential.

So what! I'm Air Force One. Air Force One can do whatever it wants.


Spoof hack.


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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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