UN: Israel Must Take Responsibility For Hamas Actions

Funny story written by P Z

Thursday, 5 February 2009

The United Nations Secretary-General, Ban Ki-Moon has stated that they will no longer be falling for Israel's accusations of Hamas crimes.

"Enough about this Hamas", he said. "I don't even know what that is."

Hamas have been involved in a number of violent incidents for which Israel will subsequently be tried for war crimes.

These include:

- Misfiring rockets and killing Palestinians instead of the intended target, Israelis.
- Stealing blankets and food to make the underground tunnels in which some Gazans are forced to live more homely
- Torturing and killing rival Fatah members
- Accidentally setting fire to self when burning the Israeli flag
- Accidentally killing self by detonating hand grenade before throwing it at Israel soldiers

"Israel must ensure such incidents do not re-occur", BKM warned. "The next time a rocket is fired from Gaza, Israel must be on the receiving end."

Israel has humbly donated more food and blankets for the Hamas leaders in their tunnels, and will be giving advice on how to make the rockets more accurate, as well as safety tips for flag-burners and grenade-throwers.

BKM said, "If the Jews hadn't escaped from the Holocaust to Israel in the first place, none of this would be happening. It's time they took responsibility for what they reaped."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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