Written by P Z

Thursday, 29 January 2009

Israel has landed itself in more trouble after several Hamas terrorists it captured complained to the Red Cross and other charities about their treatment while in custody.

"We were kept in the open air." one said. "We're only used to hiding in underground tunnels, the sunlight is very bad for our skin."

Israel was also accused of only offering the terrorists kosher food with Hebrew writing on it, which they were forced to eat in order to survive, even though they were supposed to be boycotting it. "I could taste Palestinians in the food, I could have been eating my son, who was a suicide bomber three years ago", another complained.

The terrorists also moaned that they were handcuffed for long periods of time, leading to great discomfort - "when we asked the Israeli soldiers to scratch our noses for us they just laughed and went off to have a smoke."

The Red Cross has subsequently launched an appeal to raise money for improved conditions for future captured terrorists. "This behaviour is unacceptable from Israel", a spokesman said. "We insist that Israel's prisoners are kept in the King David Hotel in future."

An IDF spokesman admitted "It's all true, regrettably. And when they started crying, saying they were scared of us, we were rolling on the floor laughing. We realize now it wasn't nice of us to laugh, but it was funny at the time."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Terrorism, Israel

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