In a media blitz in Jerusalem last night, Israel unveiled designs for a new flag.
"Its to reflect the new modern Israel" said spokesperson Avid Macabee, "we were a nation born out of fear, terror, tyranny and murder, and we felt this new flag should reflect that."
The new flag, which was designed at a cost of £1,000,000 by a top design consultancy, features the Star of David with a red paint splatter motif which, government sources say, is there to "add colour" and "in no way implies Israel has blood on its hands".
"It reflects Israel's recent history" said Macabee, "in the Warsaw ghetto our people were imprisoned, bombed and starved into submission by an enemy that claimed it was only doing it to preserve its own existence. Its an important lesson in history that should neither be forgotten, nor repeated."
"Likewise, it also represents the victory we had in bringing war criminals to trial, even if they were just lowly soldiers carrying out the orders of their superiors. There can be no excuse. Never."
The Israeli government celebrated the new design with a "fireworks display" in the Gaza strip, accidentally knocking out a school, power station and a UN convoy, and by announcing that its troops would be immune from any international war crimes tribunals.
"This is a great, proud day for Israel" said Macabee "and shows that as a nation we have learned from the lessons of history".
