Today, President George W Bush visited the Gaza Strip in Israel, and was greeted by thousands of Palestinian wellwishers.
Palestinian President Mahmud Roq'tcsbah said: 'We welcome you, Your Holiness, and wish to thank you for all you have done for our people. Now please come and see all the great work we have done, all with your help', and the American President began a brief tour of the area.
'Here is what was once a shelter, for people to hide from mortar shells and 500 pound bombs, but now the people no longer need any shelters! And we had built too many schools, so this one has been demolished, such is our bounty. Our healthcare is now so good, thanks to the Americans, so we have cut our medical supplies and staff and are cutting their numbers every day. There are less and less ambulances here, and even our water consumption is reduced, all thanks to you, President Bush!'
The leader of the free world replied: 'I thank you, Mr. President Rockie, for your kind words. The American people have shown the world that when it comes to helping the poor and the sick, and the young and the old, and the vulnerable living in terror from constant air attacks, we will help those people, no matter their politics. We will rebuild their schools and their hospitals, their houses and even their mosques, all in the name of liberty and freedom for all.'
'We will not allow the people of Palestine to be attacked by terrorists that use mass weapons against civilians, including jets and tanks, and who have done so for over fifty years. They are the enemies of democracy, and we will never allow the terrorists to win. People of Palestine, the American people are the Palestinian people - ich bin ein falafel!', and the crowd roared its approval at the President's speech.
As he left in his armor-plated Limousine, Mr. Bush said: 'Went pretty well I thought, Dad. What do you think?' 'Nice work, son, the world keeps saying the Palestinians are the real terrorists, but we'll keep saying it's the Israelis. I mean, why do you think we put a handful of Palestinians into the ancient Jewish homeland, it wasn't to find oil! As long as America is America we'll fund the Palestinian war criminals, and fill our media with lies about the Israelis, making out that they're somehow to blame for all of those rocket attacks.'
'Heck, Dad, this is too adult for me.' 'Just turn CNN on, son, and remember - Palestinians good, Israelis bad, USA good, children killed by airstrikes good - I mean bad.' 'OK, Dad.'
President Bush turned the car TV on, but only got the end of an episode of 'The Waltons.' 'Night night, Momma.' 'Night night, Barack, don't you have any bad dreams about Israel.' 'I won't.' 'Just you forget all about the place.' 'OK, Momma. But what if I grow up to be President, and people want me to say the Palestinians are war criminals that massacre Israeli civilians to keep American businesses rich?' 'Don't you worry about that, little boy, if you grow up to be President you'll never have to think about such things, American Presidents are children that do whatever Palestinians tell them to do.' 'OK.' 'Night night, Barack.' Night night, Momma.'
