Toronto - Tom Timbits, CEO of the largest Doughnut chain in Canada, Tim Hortons, has announced a plan to expand to the Gaza strip which he says will "tap into a new market and potentially end the deadly conflict as well."
"People who come to Canada always marvel at what a multi-racial nation of contented doughnut eaters we are."
"Expansion is the next step for us. We have more or less saturated the Canadian market, with the exception of Newfoundland where we think we could more or less have one outlet per person and still make a go of it."
"The Middle East to our knowledge has no doughnut shops. It also has experienced terrible violence as you know throughout the ages. We see these two facts as related."
"I can't imagine how angry our customers would be without their morning visit to Tims."
"We think we can help settle this crisis and stop the needless bloodshed."
"It's hard for anybody to hold a grudge after a double-double and a maple glazed."
"Carbs make people feel contented."
"It's a fact."