Bush's Video Land opened today along the highway linking Crawford, Texas to the rest of the world. A burgeoning business ensued immediantly upon opening as die hard Bush fans from around the U.S. descended like locusts upon it.
Some were enthralled, some not.
"He has all my faverit (sic) action pics there- Yeehaw!" said Mr. 'Scuzzims' Lowrent. "He has a complete collection of John Wayne and Steven Seagel flicks. And all of the best Three Stooges movies too. Who says W. wasn't up with the times? He has 'em all on both DVD and video!"
"The store here has all the Disney movies ever made, including those made only for DVD to squeeze a few more busks out of Disney addicts." stated Mrs. Blanche Rasputin. "One can never get enough of Mickey Mouse!"
"Who needs musty old books like the other Presidents got? Who reads books any more anyways?" claimed Rupert 'Bojangles' Johnson, the general manager for the establishment. "Books are too much of a pain for the brain. Hell, our man George got through 8 years of Prasiduncy (sic) without 'em. If the Prasidunt don't need 'em, why do regular folks?"
Some were disappointed at the lack of foreign films. " We don't got 'em," says Johnson. "Who got the patience or the talent to read all them subtitles? Besides, who cares what they got to say?"
In a separate building is housed the 'special' video collection for 'discerning' adult viewers. When questioned why a Presidential store would want to have 'blue' movies on its premises President-reject Bush retorted "Hey, what about all that freedom of speech and expression BS that the liberalies kept throwing at me throughout my term? Isn't this what they wanted? Here it is boys, come an' git it! I just say that a man's got to relax once in a while and these provide a way to do it!"
Interestingly enough, the outlet also has tapes of every single show aired on Fox News since its start. They can be found in the 'True Patriots' section of the store.
A run on the store occured when it was announced that new copies of "Ann Coulter Does Dallas- the uncut version", were in.
Sales of Mr. Bush's 15 minute video "Greatest Speeches of King George II" will go to help the Crawford House for For Inbred Imbeciles, a rather large charity in the area.
