Professor in Corpse Sex Plan

Funny story written by Kent Pete

Monday, 5 January 2009


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The maverick German professor Gunther von Hagens who caused a storm with his public autopsy has revealed he wants to show dead people having sex in an exhibition he bizarrely plans to call 'Kinky Corpses'.

He said: "I am really thinking of it, but only if the body donors agreed during lifetime and if the final specimen is highly educational. I have been travelling around Britain doing a series of lectures explaining my plans and asking people if they would be interested in the idea. So far the response has been favourable, especially in Derby where over 60% of males agreed to their corpses being used for the sex exhibition.

Ex Stoke City and Everton defender Mike Pejic, 58 from Matlock, Derbyshire is typical of the male respondents. Talking to our Arts correspondent he said: "I have agreed to let Gunter use my body after my death because I believe his work to be educational and ground breaking. To be honest I have been married to a Physics teacher since the age of 18 and I haven't had a huge amount of sex over the last 40 years. I find it comforting to believe that I might get some action when I'm gone".

He continued: "I have also asked the Professor just how dead I have to be to be considered for his show. I was rather hoping Gunter may consider using me when I was 'close to death' or even next weekend when my wife visits her sister in Carlisle. However he appears to be concerned about legal implications of this. I have given the Professor a picture of my ideal woman and trust him to find me a suitable partner. To be honest as long as she isn't Jewish or a Physics teacher I'm not too bothered. However I have told him that if he can get me Cheryl Cole I'd leave him my extensive collection of football memorabilia including the wig worn by Peter Shilton in the 1979 European Cup Final".

Professor von Hagens has been described as a real-life Hannibal Lecter and a modern-day Dr Frankenstein. However he has defended his plans for the exhibition. Talking to our Science and technology correspondent Dr. Jane Lister he said: "Sex is a very, very important but dangerous act, especially in the time of Aids. We should know as much as possible about what is going on, how intimate the interaction is and how sex functions, and how the anatomy is intertwined. However it is also true that I have always been fascinated by the macabre and grotesque. I have Geri Halliwell's autobiography at home. Did you know she ate nothing but peaches and marmite for over a year? And they say I'm weird"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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