Naked Obama Waxwork Unveiled

Funny story written by David David

Thursday, 6 November 2008


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Madame Tussauds teamed up with Cadbury's Chocolates to create their life-like nude Obama figure

London, England - London's most famous tourist attraction, Madame Tussauds, has launched its latest wax-works exhibition, featuring newly-elected American President, Barack Obama as its main attraction.

Never shying away from controversy, Madame Tussauds is displaying Obama in the nude.

Madame Tussauds spokesperson, Ruby Wax, explained that the world-famous exhibition was only following the dictates of the public.

"First, let me apologise that the air con seems to be turned off at the moment for some reason," said a slightly moist Ms Wax. "It should be back on in a moment."

"Anyway, there was a recent survey in America, and what most women wanted was to see Obama in the buff. And since it was women who voted so strongly for him, we figured that they should get what they want."

Ms Wax added that many men also wanted to see Obama naked and that there would be a Sunday nite 'men's only' after-midnight showing as well.

"I think both men and women will be pleased," commented Ruby Wax, her nose dripping slightly in the heat. "Not all of Obama is as scrawny as that fool Schwarzenegger implied."

In addition to the controversial naked pose for Obama, Madame Tussauds made even more of a stir by casting the figure in a mixture of wax and milk chocolate.

Ruby Wax explained, "We wanted to honour Obama as the first Black American president. But when we tried to use dark chocolate, we couldn't get the skin tone right at all. So then we teamed up with Cadburys and found that their Dairy Milk bars were pretty close to what we wanted."

"The Cadbury team suggested just a touch of caramel for shading certain facial features and other body parts, and it turned out great," proclaimed Ms Wax, her nose now drooping over her upper lip in the heat.

"We got Obama's external appearance down pretty good," said a proud Ruby Wax. "But then came the problem of what to fill him with. Nobody really knows what's inside the guy, and even seeing him naked will wear thin at some point for people."

"John McCain suggested we just leave him as hollow chocolate, like an Easter bunny," commented Wax.

"Then the Clintons suggested we fill him with dark, bitter chocolate, guns and bibles."

"Michelle O suggested gooey coconut crème, but Cadbury said they already had a trademark on that for their Creme Eggs," said a down-cast Ruby Wax.

"Quite a few people in the South and Midwest voted for Nestlé Aero bubbles as well," added Ms Wax, "But that seems a bit too cynical right away."

"So in the end, we decided it was most fitting for our naked Obama theme to go with Lil' Kim's suggestion, Mocha Choca lata ya ya. Yea", exclaimed Ruby Wax, now pretty much a puddle like the melting witch in Oz.

Meanwhile the Madame Tussauds nude Obama exhibition is proving quite popular with queues stretching for several blocks around their Baker Street London location.

Pre-op transsexual, Polly Graff, who claims to have had a gay affair with Obama in London in 1996, was spotted in the queue and interviewed.

"This is my third visit," gushed Ms Graff, gouging a plump woman next to her in the queue with one of her knife-point stiletto heels in her excitement.

"Obama's just as I remember him, down to every detail, so life-like, even that mole on his- well, you know," said Ms Graff, sharing just a little too much information.

"I just hope Madame Tussauds accepts my application to be a night watchman," added Poly Graff, frosting her lips with mocha choca lata lip gloss.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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