NOHAVEN, Conneticut - Doomberg - Press Release - New member - financial tool suite: TireDayCalc.
TireDayCalc calculates when you can retire, based on input from an army of financial pronostibators, dicountants and confidence men at 13th Infidelity Bank.
The tool is available for eight easy monthly payments that should be affordable to anyone contemplating retirement soon:
Payments are scaled for anticipated deflation.
After all the payments are made to Doomberg through the 13th Infidelity Bank, a letter is sent to you informing you that you will never be able to retire, since the government will not be able to make meaningfull Social Security payments, and Doomberg has all your money and the data from your computer which it has just deleted for you.
From that point on you get monthly letters requesting contributions to the Bank to help rescue it from lack-of-growth pains.