Web Surfing While Intoxicated Now Illegal

Funny story written by Fish

Monday, 18 August 2008

image for Web Surfing While Intoxicated Now Illegal
Jail For Web Surfers Under The Influence

Washington DC-- Congress voted today to make web-surfing while drunk or stoned illegal. Penalties are $5,000 for the first offense with a mandatory jail term of one year in federal prison. Local police departments will enforce the law.

Congress empowered the local authorities to enter any home or business with an internet connection to drug test anyone online. President Bush happily signed the bill into law as soon as it came from Capitol Hill.

"We want to make internet surfing safe for everyone. There is just too much damage from intoxicated surfers on the net, it's very harmful." said bill sponser Senator Gib Rehtorb (R-PA). "Studies show most trolls are drunks and most activity on the net happens when people are intoxicated." said the senator.

Online giants Amazonia.com and TheSpoof.com were against the new law. "Almost 60% of our customers are impaired when they buy from us." said Eve Jobs, founder of Amazonia.web. "Most customers have no idea what they are buying from us, or the price." laughed evil Eve.

TheSpoof.com may have to shut down, according to founder Mark Lark. Writers for TheSpoof.com are notorious for consuming alcohol and drugs before writing their so-called stories.

"We won't last a month." said Mr. Lark. "All of the writers will be in jail, especially that awful Mr. Fish!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more