Internet service providers to target LEGAL downloads

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Friday, 15 August 2008

image for Internet service providers to target LEGAL downloads
"Music for Aerosols", Girls Aloud's eagerly awaited new record

Following on from the recent decision by internet service providers to target illegal file sharing, they will now also be targeting internet users who legally download files.

Industry spokeswoman, Virginia Tiskally, said:

"We can understand the concern the music industry has when new albums by popular performers are shared and downloaded onto those i-machines even before they are released. In fact, I believe the new album by those Kaiser Chiefs was actually illegally downloaded before it was even written.

"The artists lose money, the musicians lose money, the management lose money and of course the greedy music industry itself loses money.

"Just because people have been getting ripped off for years in stores like HMV and W.H.Smith's doesn't give the public the right to get something for nothing, or their chicks for free.

"Anyway, back to business. Now that we will be getting illegal downloads under control, the next step is legal downloads.

"Internet service providers will be monitoring those users who legally download songs from groups such as Girls Aloud, Sugarbabes, SClub7, Justin Timberlake and even my all-time favourite group, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson who are just about to release a new album now that the Health and Safety Executive have checked them for any traces of music.

"What we want to know is why anyone in their right mind would actually WANT to PAY for a music download from Girls Aloud, Sugarbabes, SClub7, Justin Timberlake or even my all-time favourite group, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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