IndyMac "shock" value falls to absolute zero; bill (not dividend) sent to shareholders

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Saturday, 19 July 2008

image for IndyMac "shock" value falls to absolute zero; bill (not dividend) sent to shareholders
IndyMac holds its 5K for its customers just like Countrywide

Pasadena, California - IndyMac's now federally controlled phone lines rang off the hook with calls from its shareholders who woke up to a double surprise Friday morning. As they watched their stock value fall to zero (70 cents per share), they opened their mail to find a bill from IndyMac for the liquidity collapse, instead of their customary dividend.

Indymac has fired over half of its employees in recent days, and it is believed one of them mailed out the bogus bills, say FDIC officials.

"Obviously, we are dealing with a prank from a disgruntled employee that got notice that his or her services are no longer required," said a spokesman for IndyMac. "Though our shareholders will not be receiving their dividend, they will not billed for the temporary liquidity shortage we are experiencing either. It is simply ridicules. Who heard of such a thing of having the shareholders foot the bill for their company's screw ups …that's what the American tax payer is for."

Meanwhile, another ridiculous rumor has been circulating that the IndyMac CEO is scheduled to receive millions as a bonus, if approved by the board.

"Actually, that one is true," said the spokesman for IndyMac.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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