China announced today that it would hold a totally pointless exercise in mourning, which will last for 3 days.
A spokesperson, speaking from Mister Lee's Restaurant in Beijing, said: 'Yes, 3 days will be spent twiddling our thumbs, and pretending we can deal with all this, and then it's back to building dodgy stadiums, and shooting lots of dissidents.'
But in Taiwan, the Formosan leader, Chairman Meow, said :'What good will 3 days' mourning do? It should be longer, like the 300 years we've been mourning losing power in Peking.'
Briefly stopping choking on his egg foo yung, American President George 'Doublesoy' Bush said: 'If the Chinese government decides it needs all morning to eat, we won't criticise them. More rice, Laura?'
But German President, Angela Stuka, said: 'Our respect for the Chinese is immense, as is our trading figures. Mind you, if China wasn't so big, we'd just wipe the place off the map with blitzkriegs, then we'd see who's boss!'
Scientists have suggested that China's earthquakes aren't connected to politics, or even to the Olympics, but this was dismissed by Senator Barack Omaha. Speaking from his office in Someplace, he said this about the tragedy in China: ' '.
And other Presidential candidates said the same, although Californian Terminabor, Arnold Schwarzenazzer, said ' ' in a weird accent.
CNN stands for Children'sstuff Not News.
