Chinese Earthquake Linked To Terracotta Army

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 14 May 2008


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China this morning

The earthquake which tore through the Chinese province of Sichuan on Monday, has been linked to the Imperial Terracotta Army, which was on manoeuvres there, it has been claimed.

The Army, which consists of more than 8,000 warriors with horses and chariots, was on a forced march to Tibet to "sort out the monks" there, and had been "working up a head of steam", according to a Chinese military spokesman. It's this that may have started the earthquake.

The quake, which measured 7.9 on the Richter Scale, occurred only 10km beneath the Earth's surface, which is almost exactly the depth at which the Terracotta Army usually marches to its various conflicts. Manic stamping up and down with fearsome faces is usually enough to win their battles without a spear being thrown.

On this occasion however, it looks as if the Army "bit off more than it could chew", and the fragile earth beneath their feet gave way. No sign has been seen of it since the quake, and Prime Minister Wen Jiabao has admitted he is concerned for its welfare..

Beijing officials have sent their best archaeologists to dig for the Terracotta figures, which are more than 2000 years old, and could, if broken up and recycled, be used to build better houses for surviving victims of the earthquake.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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