VIENNA - Police here have announced that they have discovered a teddy bear, which has been imprisoned in a bunker on the outskirts of Vienna.
"Dis iss a great day for the polize," said Chief Rudolph Hess. "Ve haff freed an innocent teddy bear from a hellish experience in a bunker." Chief Hess went on to say that they were acting on a tip from an undercover agent, whom he would only identify as "Peter Pan."
Chief Hess said they found the teddy bear chained to an étagère in a corner of the basement bunker-like room. "Judging from the dust on the bear's fur, it must have been years," he said.
"All of Austria can express a sigh of relief," he concluded.