New research from ADOLF, (the Austrian Department Of Lovely Fellows) has revealed that not all Austrians are perverts.
However, the research does reveal that some of them are. In fact there's quite a healthy proportion who are, if truth be told.
Minister of State at ADOLF, Herr Robin D Cradle explains:
"We are most upset, ja, that Europe sees us as a bunch of lederhosen-dressed shirt-lifters and carpet-munchers, ja, whose main hobby is eating imported Bavarian sausages, swilling Kronenburg export and cultivating children in basements. Ja.
"Some of the world's most famous people have been Austrian. Ja, I know that Kurt Waldheim was an old Nazi, and a pretty miserable bugger to boot, ja, but look at America's Arnold Schwarzenegger. Famous actor, governor and terminator.
"And yes, some of our famous Austrians have very funny names, and some even had some very strange habits - Ernst Fuchs, Adolf Loos, Marcus Schmuck, Adolf Hitler, Rudolph Bing, Wolfgang Puck, and even Gernot Zippe, crazy name, crazy guy, and Wilhelm Reich the psychiatrist and original third Reich after his two sisters. Ja.
"And I also appreciate that Georg Ritter von Trapp, head of The Sound of Music family, was an Austrian, ja, which is possibly the biggest cross we Austrians have to bear."