Written by Mr Intolerant

Wednesday, 16 April 2008

image for Zimbabwe Hits Hurdles on Olympic Bid

In a rare candid interview with foreign reporters on Monday, outgoing (or incoming) President Robert Mugabe admitted that a number of issues have arisen with his visionary plan to bid for the 2020 Olympic Games.

"When I came up with this idea I thought that it would be a great way to celebrate my 40th year as Prime Minister and President. The election was to be held the month before the games which I will win with 66% of the vote and we were to take over the last foreign owned companies and property at the opening ceremony.

"Unfortunately a group called the IOC tells me that I will not be able to have the final say on the results of each individual competition. Clearly they don't know I choose every winner in my country.

"Unless this obstacle can be overcome then we will again be the victim of a racist world trying to overcome the will of our people."

An IOC spokesman said whilst they had received an initial bid document from Zimbabwe they had some internal doubts about the proposal to use the Olympic torch to burn down the homes of 34% of the voting population on the way to the stadium.

She also stated that the concept of nationalising all foreign teams equipment and personal effects could affect the popularity of the bid come the vote.

Despite the challenges to come Mr Mugabe is still confident of getting a positive result.

"We are in the process of taking over the vote counting at the IOC and also enrolling 2431 new countries all based in a few vacant blocks I own down the street. All in all I think that the result will be a triumph for true democracy."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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